| . . . the not-so secret life of a screaming fan girl . . . |
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| hopia, mani, popcorn |
[01 Jun 2009|10:23pm] |
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+ Wow! I can't believe it's June already. We are half way into the year, people! Before we know it, christmas carols will be raiding the airwaves. WOW! Unbelievable!
+ I'm unbelievably cranky today. Must be because I miss him and I haven't worked out since Thursday. I need endorphins!!!
+ I hope he's not too busy on thursday AND friday. Really miss him and want to spend time with him. We celebrated his birthday by having breakfast at Delifrance, hours before I had to leave for Boracay.
+ I'm a bit tanned after spending 3 days in bora. Bad timing though since it was rainy. didn't get as dark as I wanted to. But! I was brave enough to wear a tankini haahah! Next year, I will don a two-piece suit. Aja!!!
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| maxxed out |
[17 May 2009|11:55pm] |
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...taking the plunge head first, eyes closed, heart open...if i get injured, i'll charge it to experience.
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| pacing... |
[16 May 2009|02:20pm] |
I feel like Im floating on air. I don't want to jinx this, whatever we have. I cant wait to see you on Wednesday and validate this crazy connection.
Let's hold hands and jump.
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| Adele - Chasing Pavements |
[30 Apr 2009|01:34am] |
I've made up my mind,
No need to think it over,
If i'm wrong I aint right,
No need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
This is love but,
If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
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| Papa N naman eh....1 |
[08 Apr 2009|03:41am] |
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I had a dream about you. You called me on my mobile and told me you will be watching for guys hitting on me, that they will have to answer to you. You said you should be the only one. You cannot believe how happy I was when I woke up. I had a smile on my face. This feeling is so stupid and setting me up for a heartache, but I say, bring it on. - - -
Avril Lavigne - Why
Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all
Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why
It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart
Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why
It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
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[25 Mar 2009|09:06am] |
Do you ever feel like busting a move even when you dont really know how to dance? i feel like i will combust if i dont dance. damn this lady gaga song! Arghhh....my head keeps showing me dancing like a spinning top.
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I got my first paycheck after not working for some time and i really wanted to cry. My AM friend asked me why I agreed to that compensation package. Arghhh....I want to cry.
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| Francis M...RIP. |
[06 Mar 2009|11:06pm] |
Mark knocked on my door earlier and told me Camille sent him an sms saying francis m already passed away. A few days ago we were just talking about him and now he's gone. I really thought he would get better. wasnt he scheduled for a bone marrow transplant some time this month?
Anyway...so tonight, after Tayong dalawa, SNN came on and they did a feature on francis. I decided to watch it...start pa lang, nangingilid na ang mga luha ko. sayang kasi eh. Sayang. Ang tingin ko sa kanya, more than the artist, rapper, celebrity, businessman, eh mabuting asawa at tatay. Matagal na sila ni Pia, madami silang anak na mukang matitinong mga bata. Para sa kin, yun sha eh. Matino at mabuting tatay at asawa. Sa libro ko, kung ganoon ang isang lalaki, bilib ako sayo. Kaya siguro ako iyak ng iyak. Di ko maturo eksakto bakit ako naiiyak.
Parang may nakasaksak sa puso ko ngayon. Di ako nangingiti. Masama talaga ang pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko sha kaano-ano pero ang sakit talaga, affected ako. Hay.
Makes me think about my life and my relationship with people.
- - -
Francis M...three stars and the sun....Rest In Peace. Your soul will live through your music.
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| Semantics. |
[26 Feb 2009|01:15am] |
Semantics is such a sexy word, don't you think?
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Mara's shares of origami blog has inspired me to try writing again. I mean, it's nothing major, just short phrases strung together to make my thoughts more concrete, more tangible. So I created a separate blog for my exercise:
Exorcising My Demons
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I wish I can be a good writer like some of the people on my flist, in dongbang`s fanfic fandom. *sigh* They make it seem so easy. I know it isn`t, but I love how they make it seem so....effortless.
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Im in a funk. Since May, I have never been lazy going to the gym. Kahapon at ngayon lang. Im going through a phase again. Like I want to jump off a bridge and never resurface kind of funk.
- - -
Powerhug juseyo!!
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| I am a fangirl. |
[22 Feb 2009|01:53am] |
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music |
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Evanescence - Call Me When You're Sober |
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OMG I had so much fun today! From a quickie lunch with bestie to coffee/convo/tattoo-watching with ex-Mrs. Kim-Lee to screaming my head off watching Pop Icons with Nog and Rach! Mannnn!!! I am officially Christian Bautista's Girl friend ahahaha!!! Yes, kami na!! Hahaha!
Xtine ♥ Xtian
Hanggg cuteeee!!
I enjoyed the concert. The production was done fairly well, from the choice of songs, the talking bits, the segments. Waahahah....Xtian dancing is just so much fun. Ang tigas ng katawan mo, babe.
Whaahaha...ohnoes, looks like I have a new fandom hahahah!!
This is why I've been avoiding watching Xtian in concert.
Hephephep....wait! Papa Piolo.....thank you for singing "kailangan kita"!!! Waahahhaha....ang ganda ganda nung song na yun! Gomawo!!! Pero Ive decided na kami na ni Xtian, sorry had to decline you haahaha!
BALIW NA AKO. YUN NA YUN.
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Hellooooo Pinoy Showbiz, welcome this fangirl! Wait....let me rephrase that....Hellooooo KAPAMILYA Showbiz...^^
- - -
Xtian ♥ Xtine
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| Sana Feb 25 na!!! |
[19 Feb 2009|02:17am] |
"I don't get jealous. I can't be jealous. I've never been jealous. Ngayon lang."
~ Miggy Montenegro, You Changed My Life
WINNER AMPOHTAH!! Sana Feb 25 na...ppaliiiiii!!!!
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| Happy Birthday, Booboo!!!! <333 |
[24 Dec 2008|02:27am] |
It's still the 23rd in some parts of the world so....
Happy birthday to my baby, Makiveli!! 7 years old yahoooo!!!! Let's have more years together. Umma loves you! <333
with my love booboo <333 |
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[01 Dec 2008|10:55pm] |
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I vow to try harder.
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| Yes, we can. |
[06 Nov 2008|02:56am] |
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music |
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Byul and Nah Yoon Kwon - Ahn Bu |
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I was teary eyed when I watched his speech. I am not American, and probably never will be, but he makes me hopeful.
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| The weekend that was... |
[03 Nov 2008|12:00am] |
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The UNDAS weekend was spent gorging on food and enjoying quality time with the family. Until now, I still feel full from all the food we ate since we began our travel to Laguna. Sorry, Chess (my trainer), I will make up for all the eating I did tomorrow. I will go on an all fruit and veggies "diet" to purge my system, go boxing, and have a session with Chess. I need to get back on my proper lifestyle. 1. We were talking about having a family vacation and my mum reasoned out that it's too expensive because the gfs have to be covered. My brothers and I went, "Bakit?! Hindi naman kailangan, tayo nga lang!" And somehow, this conversation led to this question: Mark: Asan boyfriend mo? (where's your boyfriend?)
Me: Wala akong boyfriend. Nagdedate lang kami dati at wala na yun. (I don't have a boyfriend. We used to date, but now it's over.)
Chano: Ang bilis naman! And this went on for a few minutes with my mum asking a few questions when Mark made the ultimate hirit to my mum's comment: Ma: Pag hindi ukol...
Mark: Baka sa iba bumukol
Me: (laughing my ass off) 2. Swimming!!! I am out of form, and my desire to re-learn swimming resurfaced again. I did a couple of laps but I was still out of breath. Give me time. 3. Eating beyond reason. There was just too much food, and even before you digest the food, it's time for another meal. Holy crap! I haven't been on this eating binge in over 6 months so this feels almost new to me. I want to empty my entire stomach!
4. We bought pasalubong from Collette's. Knowing my family, we started wolfing on the pastillas and espasol. Mark moved on to the ube-buko pie only to find out that it was spoiled. We had to drive back to the store and ask for a refund, but not with a lot of hirits from Dad and Mark. Panalo talaga sila. We laughed so much!!! 5. Me: Nahihilo ako sobra!
Ma: Eh kasi mali yung pwesto mo.
Me: Mukang kailangan ko ng bagong shoes para mawala ang hilo ko.
Ma: (snorts) Impulsive buyer ka!
Me: Eh kesa naman kleptomaniac. 6. Bonding with my family and their girlfriends. Nothing beats it, not the shopping, dating, or whatever else there is to do. Spending time with loved ones...that's bliss. I really feel blessed. ^^
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[27 Oct 2008|05:36pm] |
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music |
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Chris Brown - Wall to Wall |
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[25 Oct 2008|01:49am] |
I can feel myself changing. I can feel insecurity getting the best of me. Why the hell am I letting myself feel this way? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!!! I will TRY and not think about it.
I need to quit you the same way I quit smoking. Cold Turkey. Out of sight. Out of mind.
*sigh* Im confused and insecure and annoyed.
Shit.
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[16 Oct 2008|03:17am] |
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Tama bang kiligin ako? Hahaha...OMG. Get a grip, Xtine.
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| my tears and... |
[13 Oct 2008|04:31am] |
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How do you measure the gravity of losing an important entity in your life? By the tears you cry? By the melancholy look plastered on your face? By the hours you've spent staring at the ceiling listening to sad songs? And if I do not cry, do not look sad, do not spend sleepless nights with music on, does it mean I am not grieving my loss? Does it mean he wasn't important to me? Does it make our time together insignificant? Does it?
But if you cut my chest open and take my heart out, you'll see---absolutely---how I feel. How his loss feels so much like losing a part of me, like something is out of hinge. Every space in this house reminds me of him. It seems surreal; I half-expect that someone will shake my shoulders violently to release me from this horrible dream/nightmare. I miss you: the way you raise your right paw for a handshake, the way your pee stinks, the way you growl when you see Maki, the way you rub your head on people's leg when you pass by them, the way you guard the house by staying in the terrace roof...all of it. All of you. I will always miss you, Fiji. Yongwonhi.
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